Thursday, September 4, 2008

她念著他念著她,你一早就看到了這碎落的花

假設一種情境,每天重復想一遍。只因爲怕到時候真的發生,一時自己無法面對。後來轉頭想想,這都是不好的心理暗示,某個心理醫生連焦慮症的定義都不願告訴我,原因只怕自己想到了便不住想,你試探了某种可能,某种可能便會發生,就是這樣。“不可試探你的主”作爲一個沒有信主的人,我一直受益這句話,視人與人之間的感情和相遇為神跡(願主原諒我的無知借代)。

所以我又不願意自己悲觀倉皇的去做這種準備,似乎專注于自己生命中的每件事,才是最妥當的生存法則。但這每次的傷感假設又如何讓我抛之腦后,這是習慣性的自我保護吧,怕最後當時一瞬間決隄,不如現在就開始面對失去也知如何去接受的將來。

自己翻來覆去的想,其實都是在心裏畫地爲牢,所有的無謂專注都是畫地爲牢。喏,每天的彌敦道照舊車水馬龍,你照舊要吃飯睡覺搵工。你自有你一輩子所要專注的那個人,那些事。沒到來之前,你何苦要傾心那些無用的無果的假設。把自己騰騰乾淨,那個人在等你會心的笑,以及親吻,和訴説。

1 Comments:

Anonymous Andresvtnc said...

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January 18, 2013 at 9:15 PM  

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